This New Moon phase I am seeing anger, violent emotional upheavals, relationship complications, and lots and lots of them, from all sides of me, it reminds me of a tsunami wave threatening to pull me under and drown me in it. Friends, acquaintances, and neighbors are warring, lies, rumors, he said, she said, and a whole host of other vile poisons are being stirred in a huge pot of toxic brew. At present moment my best friend has pulled away and withdrawn and stopped speaking to everyone including myself, entirely, and it looks like that's going to be happening for awhile. While I am not the exact cause or the reason behind this person's feelings and actions, I am still being striped with the same paint brush and treated the same as the people causing the problems even though I have not done or said anything specifically to be of a part of it, I am somehow still seen as involved in it whether or not I have contributed to the chaos, and whether or not I really want to be involved does not seem to matter either. The fact I am on the right side of this current warzone is not really being considered or thought about at the moment?? I am still being cut off and excluded from a particular person's social circle. Whether it is to protect me from being hurt, or for some other reason, I have not discovered that yet. It hurts my feelings and I would be very mad if I did not already know about the situation causing the problems. I suppose I'll just have to ride out this wave of changes and hope I am still floating and relatively undamaged when it all crashes into the jagged cliffs of transformation and becomes something else, whether the transformation will be good or bad or what will really happen, I still don't know, that makes me feel insecure and I do not like the fact that I do not know where this is going yet, but I am sure to find out sooner or later. I have been watching the scenarios around me play out for awhile, from a reasonable distance and trying to not be directly involved, and I have always known that when push came to shove, I would get shoved whether I deserved any of it or not.
There is the possibility I might lose my friend, after two years of knowing this person, while I don't believe it will happen this way, it will hurt very much and this is the very last thing that I want to see happen. Still, I am mentally and emotionally preparing myself for in case it happens. Walls of defense and protection are being drawn up and secured as much as I can manage. There have been moments where I considered severing the bond myself, because things have become so complicated and stressful, people all around us keep meddling, gossiping and rumor mongering about why we are friends and what exactly the purpose of our bond is for, which causes friction and upsets and unhappiness, which is what everyone seems to want to see happen? If they are not happy, we can't be happy. There is also rumors, lies, and gossip and intrigues, social discord, and malcontent being spread like shark chum from other sides as well and this does nothing but add to the current issues I am seeing all around me.
I have no doubt I will see the waters of this tsunami grow very large and hit the walls of the transformational cliffs extremely hard over the next few days. the New Moon is October 4th and the effects will be felt for several days afterwards. The New Moon brings transformations, to get rid of old habits, bindings and barriers, situations, and people, and make room for new ones or to strengthen what already exists that needs reinforcement, breaking down the old boundaries, barriers and blockages and creating room for growth, and renewal. Sometimes this means that friendships and relationships die and fall apart , or are replaced with something or someone new and worthwhile, if it is mean to happen, a existing bond will deepen or shift from something it already is, into something it is supposed to be and those changes are often hard or difficult to process and understand and go through for everyone involved. What will be, will be, as the Goddess and God wish it to be, so it shall be, and we mere mortals can really do nothing but ride the waves and weather what is sometimes a violent and turbulent storm.
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