I have returned!

Hello everyone and Bright Blessings! I have finally returned after months of absence, and  after many attempts at fixing my computer and failing..by some miracle the Higher Powers decided to bless me today and finally clear some of my obstacles and I now have my computer back and I fixed it myself!  It took me all morning to reinstall, reset, and configure every single system and program and file on it back to the barebones factory settings. The huge amount of patience was well worth it!

 Now to update everyone on what has transpired since I have been missing, firstly and most recently , as of yesterday, I am now in the process of preparing to move and I have been scrambling to find another place in my area because I have until May 30th to be completely moved out.  My son is in the middle of end of the year exams I cannot just pack up and move right this minute.
 A financial situation will soon be much better by the end of the month if and when the IRS does as promised and that will give me the funding to complete the move, right this minute I am making dozens of phone calls and setting up appointments to put in applications for surrounding apartments near me and busy packing things I do not need and am not using, and sorting through things that can be given away or donated. There are other things going on too but I will update on that when I get more time, I feel this post will be dedicated to the most current situation happening right now.

There is a interesting plot to this move. For awhile now I have felt deep down that my life and situations in my life were bieng restricted, held down, and stagnating and I felt that me living here was somehow creating a blockage and stalling progress towards me bettering my life and situations in my personal life. I felt like living here was no longer good for me or my family and I needed to find a way to change it soon. Well lo and behold, I go to my lease renewal appointment yesterday, and the director of housing all but made the decision for me that if I was thinking about moving then I needed to go on ahead and fill out a vacancy form and then my lease will be terminated. At first I was a bit angry..I had not specifically said when I was moving, or that I had found a place to live, in fact I was going to renew my lease until my taxes came in and then I was going to move. What i specifically recall saying was that I was considering moving when school vacation started.  I feel this solidified her personal decision to not renew my lease at all and she had already made her mind up about her own ideas before I even went to see her and this was her opportunity to go ahead and make me fill out the vacancy form and she no longer had to fool with me. I am no the only person that gets this attitude from her there are several others that have been subjected to the same treatment.

I absolutely despise having my decisions made for me in any sense of the word, or that someone would take a idea of mine and turn it into something that I did not intend to happen, especially when I felt like it was benefitting her to get rid of me to start with, and then I am forced in a position to have to  make a snap decision that I am not remotely prepared for, and I do not have all of the things I need to even start. I feel like I am having to do this on spare of the moment and I am not bieng given enough time to consider where I might move to or what I am really going to do. I'm just going to have to pack up and hope for the best. My free will and ability to do things on my own and in my own time is something I am very insistent on. Yes I realize that a subconscious decison I had already thought about doing all but manifested right in front of me..but I was not prepared or expecting it to happen quite the way it did and I was not emotionally ready for it. I am in a better mood about it today but yesterday I was not a happy woman.

Already I have people trying to mold the situation to thier advantage and again trying to make this decision go towards their benefit. Well sorry it is not happening. I am not letting this situation benefit or go for anyone elses favor except if I personally decide it is best for me. Other people in my life have been nagging me relentlessly to move back to the hometown that I decided I was never in my lifetime going to go back to, and I already know if I go back there that my life will not change or be better and it is only going to benefit and favor others that would see me live my life for them and they can have their strings in my back and make me into something and someone I am not. The purpose of leaving the past and the people and situations of the past is to move forward and away from it, not keep going back to it!  I have to move forward with this madness and make the best of it and I feel that even though it is not the greatest situation , in the end it will be better for me, I just have to find the right way to make it work. I am going to go for now..because i have a million and one things to be doing and I am so behind it is absurd. Bright Blessings to  everyone and i shall return very soon!