Hello everyone and Bright Blessings. I hope most of us had a good New Moon that recently went by this past 7-15-2015? I refrained from doing any ritual work, I was in somewhat low on energy and felt like I was not in the right mood to be beginning any requests to Powers that Be. Lack of sleep and two energetic Gemini children pretty much zapped any time and energy I might have put into beginning anything hugely important. We are also still adjusting to the move even though that was almost a month ago.
I have already had one unpleasant incident concerning one of my neighbors, when her live in partner decided to turn his lusting eyes and abhorrent attention on me and attempted to come over to my door and sneak and try his luck behind her back of which I put a very quick end to. I have no patience or tolerance for games and intrigues and the shady intentions and behavior of a "player" that cannot keep himself in check. It is also rather annoying to have a very immature young girl on my doorstep attempting to assert her idea of dominance and control towards me about "her man" as if she had some justified and imperious right to do so and it took quite the effort on my part to be civil and polite and cooperative towards her rude and intrusive behavior right in my space. Never mind how badly I wanted to let the barely contained, not so nice, "precious pet" loose and let the other part of "me" be revealed. It is quite the effort and task to keep a massive, black, sharply scaled guardian calm enough to remain invisible and to remind it that it has to behave itself. I ended up with a ugly tension headache all the next day.. using that much energy and exerting that much self control is exhausting and sometimes causes adverse reactions in the human body because "normal" bodily functions have troubles with adapting and coping adequately to the massive amount of energy it takes to keep that type of creature relatively calm and contented.
So for anyone hasn't read up on any astrology related subjects recently, the planet Venus is about to go into retrograde on the morning of Saturday July 25th and will remain so until September 6th. This will not be a good time to form new romantic relationships, get engaged, plan a wedding, go on a hot date with a new love interest, or anything else related to the love and passion department. Venus also rules over monetary matters so some of us may see a dip in the flow of money and financial matters will slow down. Some of us may see a decrease in sales, commissions, royalties, even take a cut in paychecks or salary, or work hours may decrease, as in from having full time to suddenly going to a part time schedule. You may also find yourself socializing less and spending more time at home or in less crowded and low key social settings. If anyone were to be planning for a romantic getaway I would suggest holding off until after Venus goes back into full swing, after September 6th and even better would be October 9th as she will be back in peak form by then. Any love or passion themed spells or rituals cast during this retrograde phase may not go as intended either. It is not a good time to try and bring love into your life, so attraction spells and anything of that sort is best to be left alone for now, you may get what you think you want only to find you made a mistake or that it becomes a disaster.
Instead this retrograde period will be a good time to reflect on what we need in our lives for ourselves, and to mend and heal old wounds from past heartbreaks and betrayals from previous lovers and intimate relationships. A ex partner may come back in our lives and we may need to set them straight and even discuss why it is we no longer need or want them in our lives anymore, or it maybe that the ex partner may wish to reconcile or settle old differences and start anew.. Seriously contemplate this decision and comb carefully over every single detail of pros and cons of why it may or may not work out before making a final move on this. If that old flame from 10 years back comes around asking about a good time just for the fun of it.. tell them NO and send them packing! If the ex partner or friend comes around seeking to make amends and you actually see proof that there will be a positive and transformational change, then proceed, but make absolute sure there are no doubts or nagging feelings of mistrust.
The phrase "Heal Thyself" seems to fit well for the next few months, as we work on processing and eliminating "baggage" and toxicity in our lives that weighs us down and prevents us from being better and doing better for ourselves. We also have to stop clinging and holding onto things and people from the past out of fear and insecurity of what may or may not happen if we actually let it go and step away from it and them and actually try to move forward with our lives. If you don't do it yourself, well Goddess and God and Higher Powers will step in and cut those ties for you and from my own personal experiences, very often they are not "nice" about how they go about it, they have a sometimes harsh and exacting way of handing down final action that will result in the transformation that They see needs to happen. You can choose the easy way and step up and do it yourself or have it handed to you the hard way. Procrastination is not your friend this retrograde phase, stalling for time and grasping at straws will be useless and futile. Let changes happen as they will and allow what isn't serving a meaningful purpose go. If you have to shut your eyes and cut those ties with trembling fingers.. and your voice stutters, stalls and squeaks in apprehension and fear, that's ok.. no one said you had to be the stoutest of warriors, what matters is that you picked up the scissors and made the final cut. I have to go for now my lovelies, as this witch's work and tasks are never ending. Blessed Be and have a good week!
Tuesday, July 21, 2015
Monday, July 6, 2015
Twin Flames. Monday, July 6, 2015
The most powerfully divine and intensely terrifying experience in the world, is to look at someone and you realize that you can see, feel, and experience in crystal clear clarity everything you are and everything you are not inside of them down to the near finest detail. You see the exact two way mirror of your own heart, soul,and mind, reflected back at you in every conceivable version of perfect and grossly and abhorrent imperfect way, in another living and breathing opposite sex version of you. Two things can come out of this and both can happen simultaneously over a given time, you either fall totally completely in love with them, or you hate them with a blackened and bitter passion that knows no limits. What you hate the most in them is what you hate about yourself, and what you love in them is also what you love about yourself.
You see the beauty of everything they are and all of their flaws like a exquisite diamond that has not been cut and polished.You both love and hate it with a deep and fierce passion and shocking intensity that permeates everything in your life that will not let you go and you cling to it like it's your saving grace.You embrace them with open arms and reject them with cold indifference, long with all of your heart and soul to hold onto them for eternity, yet you hold them at a remote and untouchable distance and unconsciously and purposely erect a barrier of "comfort" between you and them. One week you love them with everything you have,they are everything you could possibly want , need, and ask to have, in a person, the next week you wish you never laid eyes on them and they would just leave and you never see or talk to them again for the rest of your life. When you are in the same space and proximity as them you want to hold them tight and not let go, and then you force and will yourself to not touch them in any way even perceived as intimately or too closely and even go so far as be intentionally hurtful to push them away, because you don't trust yourself to prevent what might happen if you allow yourself to be closer to them than is necessary and you don't trust yourself to give any part of yourself in any way to them, and give for them even if that might be exactly what you both need and want. You hurt them and you hurt yourself, because you love them that much that you cannot stand the idea of possibly hurting them in any shape or form. you also hate how it is that they love you, because you see nothing worthy of value in yourself that they should want to love you to begin with.
You notice and find yourself having and experiencing synchronized and paralleled thoughts, actions, and circumstances that sometimes don't have a rational and practical explanation, you think of them, they call or text, you see them somewhere right when they cross your mind and you wish you could see them and suddenly they appear out of the blue, you think about something only to hear them say exactly what you were just thinking about in your own mind, you can sense and feel their emotions and moods as if they were yours, and occasionally they reflect your own emotions and feelings back to you that sometimes you are not aware of in yourself. You even sometimes have dreams of them that seem as if you are there with them and doing what they are doing and the clarity of the images are often very vivid and realistic in their projection and it sticks in your mind for days while you try to block it out and not even think of it, only to find yourself thinking of it anyways and trying to decipher the meanings of the messages.
In essence and reality you fall in love with, or paradoxically hate "yourself" and everything you are and are not and that scares the wits out of you and shakes you inside down to your core. You run and try desperately to hide and petrified of what they have the power to do to your mind and heart, how it is they make you think and feel, even if you do not want to or are not comfortable with it. It makes you angry, you snap and snarl, brood and fume at yourself, them, and everyone else. Yet you want and need them like air to breathe and water to drink, you find yourself pushing them away and then going back repeatedly because you are inexplicably drawn to them in ways you cannot explain or understand to yourself and others and how that anything about this madness could still be considered sane.
That kind of love and deep bond can either catapult you into the stratosphere of bliss or drag you into the deepest depths of agonizing torment. You despise it with a bitterness that eats at you in how it is that you even allow yourself to feel or acknowledge it to begin with, and then immerse yourself in blissful musings of just how perfect everything could be if it really were that way. One week you are drunk and high on the indescribable sense of completion of just being in their presence and then you are sucked into the deepest of black holes of misery when you cannot talk to or see them for days and then the unthinkable and unexpected happens that you have to be separated from them and you have to endure the possibility of having to live without them.
You tell yourself you will be "fine" and while trying to go on with your life and just live without them and any distance whether forced or circumstantially put between you and them feels like some kind of phantom pain that will not cease. Others look at you and feel and think you have lost your wits and sanity entirely, there is something bad wrong with you or they understand completely. it is eventually up to you and them, and what you and them decided to do or not do that determines the eventual outcome of the situation. You can feed your twin flame so it can burn as bright as you and both of you light the fires of the fantastic and beautiful love you were meant to share, or one or both of you can stand there and let the flames burn down and go out and never bother to relight it. But do not carry a flaming torch of self hate, negativity, doubt, fear, insecurity, and do not allow the flames of your own misery set forth a wildfire of destruction that will consume both of you into ash to where there is nothing left to rekindle.
You see the beauty of everything they are and all of their flaws like a exquisite diamond that has not been cut and polished.You both love and hate it with a deep and fierce passion and shocking intensity that permeates everything in your life that will not let you go and you cling to it like it's your saving grace.You embrace them with open arms and reject them with cold indifference, long with all of your heart and soul to hold onto them for eternity, yet you hold them at a remote and untouchable distance and unconsciously and purposely erect a barrier of "comfort" between you and them. One week you love them with everything you have,they are everything you could possibly want , need, and ask to have, in a person, the next week you wish you never laid eyes on them and they would just leave and you never see or talk to them again for the rest of your life. When you are in the same space and proximity as them you want to hold them tight and not let go, and then you force and will yourself to not touch them in any way even perceived as intimately or too closely and even go so far as be intentionally hurtful to push them away, because you don't trust yourself to prevent what might happen if you allow yourself to be closer to them than is necessary and you don't trust yourself to give any part of yourself in any way to them, and give for them even if that might be exactly what you both need and want. You hurt them and you hurt yourself, because you love them that much that you cannot stand the idea of possibly hurting them in any shape or form. you also hate how it is that they love you, because you see nothing worthy of value in yourself that they should want to love you to begin with.
You notice and find yourself having and experiencing synchronized and paralleled thoughts, actions, and circumstances that sometimes don't have a rational and practical explanation, you think of them, they call or text, you see them somewhere right when they cross your mind and you wish you could see them and suddenly they appear out of the blue, you think about something only to hear them say exactly what you were just thinking about in your own mind, you can sense and feel their emotions and moods as if they were yours, and occasionally they reflect your own emotions and feelings back to you that sometimes you are not aware of in yourself. You even sometimes have dreams of them that seem as if you are there with them and doing what they are doing and the clarity of the images are often very vivid and realistic in their projection and it sticks in your mind for days while you try to block it out and not even think of it, only to find yourself thinking of it anyways and trying to decipher the meanings of the messages.
In essence and reality you fall in love with, or paradoxically hate "yourself" and everything you are and are not and that scares the wits out of you and shakes you inside down to your core. You run and try desperately to hide and petrified of what they have the power to do to your mind and heart, how it is they make you think and feel, even if you do not want to or are not comfortable with it. It makes you angry, you snap and snarl, brood and fume at yourself, them, and everyone else. Yet you want and need them like air to breathe and water to drink, you find yourself pushing them away and then going back repeatedly because you are inexplicably drawn to them in ways you cannot explain or understand to yourself and others and how that anything about this madness could still be considered sane.
That kind of love and deep bond can either catapult you into the stratosphere of bliss or drag you into the deepest depths of agonizing torment. You despise it with a bitterness that eats at you in how it is that you even allow yourself to feel or acknowledge it to begin with, and then immerse yourself in blissful musings of just how perfect everything could be if it really were that way. One week you are drunk and high on the indescribable sense of completion of just being in their presence and then you are sucked into the deepest of black holes of misery when you cannot talk to or see them for days and then the unthinkable and unexpected happens that you have to be separated from them and you have to endure the possibility of having to live without them.
You tell yourself you will be "fine" and while trying to go on with your life and just live without them and any distance whether forced or circumstantially put between you and them feels like some kind of phantom pain that will not cease. Others look at you and feel and think you have lost your wits and sanity entirely, there is something bad wrong with you or they understand completely. it is eventually up to you and them, and what you and them decided to do or not do that determines the eventual outcome of the situation. You can feed your twin flame so it can burn as bright as you and both of you light the fires of the fantastic and beautiful love you were meant to share, or one or both of you can stand there and let the flames burn down and go out and never bother to relight it. But do not carry a flaming torch of self hate, negativity, doubt, fear, insecurity, and do not allow the flames of your own misery set forth a wildfire of destruction that will consume both of you into ash to where there is nothing left to rekindle.
Wednesday, July 1, 2015
Divine Irony. July 1,2015 Full Moon
I was reading past posts that I made a year ago to date. I swear some Higher Power enjoys their deliberate actions of irony and humor when it comes to my life. I don't know if I would call it humorous or not but that depends on one's perspective. If anyone has been keeping note on the posts I make in detail, one would notice a pattern with a ongoing personal theme in my life concerning one specific person. To update those that haven't noticed.. Last June of 2014, and all the way until September of that year, I went through a miserable separation from someone very special to me, and that time in my life did not go very well for me emotionally or in any other way, in fact I was pretty much ripped away and forcibly separated from someone I consider to be a soul mate in a sense, there may not be that fantastic "in love" and blazing passionate chemistry, but that is not what a twin flame or a soul mate is exactly and that is not the true purpose of that type of love to begin with. It did not seem to matter what we felt, what we wanted, or what we needed, it happened anyway as if it were meant to happen and we had no control or power over the events, Goddess, God , and Higher Powers, and who knows else, decided this was going to happen because it needed to happen and never mind what we might have felt about it. It took me awhile to see that it was not just about me and my friend.. there was something more going on that was not mundane and not entirely on the human level of conscious and unconscious perspective and interaction.
Well ironically, now I am the one separating from them, and having to leave them behind, and the time frame matches exactly the time frame from last year, and I moved away from them this past June pretty much a year exactly to the day, and there is more distance between us, I am at the opposite end of town, about 20 minutes away. I have a suspicion that some Higher Power devised this into being as a well timed and deliberate synchronization of events meant for a very good purpose. I just have to keep paying attention. I wonder if it will take until September before things straighten out again? That was how long it took last year before I summoned some courage and contacted them then we made amends and tried to work out some differences. Another irony I have noticed with the situation, is concerning their occupational life, as part of the reasons we did not get along so peachy during that past time period was their unrelenting and excessive amount of time spent at a new job. And how much time they were giving to other areas and other people in their lives to the point of total alienation of everyone and everything else that should have been just as important and just as much of a priority. And again, this year, their life is centered almost exclusively on their work and business relations and never mind anyone and anything else that might be needing their time and attention, and it has slowly been eroding and tearing apart theirs and other's lives.
this year, the same time period has come again but instead of us fighting and snarling over how unhappy we are with each other, I ended up just having to move, and the process of this move started in April, with the incident with my previous landlady all but dissolving my lease for me, again something I was not prepared or ready to have to go through. April 2014 also was the exact same time last year, when my friend and I first started having severe communication breakdowns, horrid disagreements and heated spats about every little thing coming and going that we were not happy or fulfilled about and we were at a unresolvable crossroads as to how to make it work and if it could work at all, so they gave in and said it was best we separate. We were hurting each other in ways that were destructive and damaging to the foundations of our relationship when what we should have been doing was finding more concrete and stable ways to build it up stronger.
So Higher Powers, Goddess, God intervened again and decided that in order for us to not have to go through the same exact thing as last year, and for there to not be heated arguments and hurt feelings and all sorts of other miserable issues, They decided to intercede on both of our behalf before it got to that point, and change my life and theirs for what probably is a better and higher good, and just move me away from it all entirely and at a safer and more protective distance and to make room for changes that need to happen. There has also been no verbal or other communication which means we are not screaming, arguing, and snarling at each other over things we just do no have the power to change or do anything about. It is not in our best interest or for the best interest of our lives to be doing that, and there apparently needs to be space and distance put between us if things are to change for what hopefully is a much better outcome later on for both of our sakes. My daughter is coming in to visit on the 3rd of July, and I recall a horrible scene from the Independence Day holiday last year at the same time, that ended really badly. Fireworks were not the only things that exploded and burnt to ash that day in a blaze of temper. This year that will not happen, seeing as I am not there anymore and there wont be anything for us to fight about. I recall a conversation we had before I left , about how we were going to work things out between us since I was moving, and I said "I think this will be a positive change for both of us in the end" We will see if I was right.. and let us see what happens later.. perhaps when September comes again.
Well ironically, now I am the one separating from them, and having to leave them behind, and the time frame matches exactly the time frame from last year, and I moved away from them this past June pretty much a year exactly to the day, and there is more distance between us, I am at the opposite end of town, about 20 minutes away. I have a suspicion that some Higher Power devised this into being as a well timed and deliberate synchronization of events meant for a very good purpose. I just have to keep paying attention. I wonder if it will take until September before things straighten out again? That was how long it took last year before I summoned some courage and contacted them then we made amends and tried to work out some differences. Another irony I have noticed with the situation, is concerning their occupational life, as part of the reasons we did not get along so peachy during that past time period was their unrelenting and excessive amount of time spent at a new job. And how much time they were giving to other areas and other people in their lives to the point of total alienation of everyone and everything else that should have been just as important and just as much of a priority. And again, this year, their life is centered almost exclusively on their work and business relations and never mind anyone and anything else that might be needing their time and attention, and it has slowly been eroding and tearing apart theirs and other's lives.
this year, the same time period has come again but instead of us fighting and snarling over how unhappy we are with each other, I ended up just having to move, and the process of this move started in April, with the incident with my previous landlady all but dissolving my lease for me, again something I was not prepared or ready to have to go through. April 2014 also was the exact same time last year, when my friend and I first started having severe communication breakdowns, horrid disagreements and heated spats about every little thing coming and going that we were not happy or fulfilled about and we were at a unresolvable crossroads as to how to make it work and if it could work at all, so they gave in and said it was best we separate. We were hurting each other in ways that were destructive and damaging to the foundations of our relationship when what we should have been doing was finding more concrete and stable ways to build it up stronger.
So Higher Powers, Goddess, God intervened again and decided that in order for us to not have to go through the same exact thing as last year, and for there to not be heated arguments and hurt feelings and all sorts of other miserable issues, They decided to intercede on both of our behalf before it got to that point, and change my life and theirs for what probably is a better and higher good, and just move me away from it all entirely and at a safer and more protective distance and to make room for changes that need to happen. There has also been no verbal or other communication which means we are not screaming, arguing, and snarling at each other over things we just do no have the power to change or do anything about. It is not in our best interest or for the best interest of our lives to be doing that, and there apparently needs to be space and distance put between us if things are to change for what hopefully is a much better outcome later on for both of our sakes. My daughter is coming in to visit on the 3rd of July, and I recall a horrible scene from the Independence Day holiday last year at the same time, that ended really badly. Fireworks were not the only things that exploded and burnt to ash that day in a blaze of temper. This year that will not happen, seeing as I am not there anymore and there wont be anything for us to fight about. I recall a conversation we had before I left , about how we were going to work things out between us since I was moving, and I said "I think this will be a positive change for both of us in the end" We will see if I was right.. and let us see what happens later.. perhaps when September comes again.
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