Hello Everyone and Bright Blessings! I wanted to update on what has happened since the Full Moon, Wednesday I went out customer hunting and recruiting for Representative for my Avon business,and I had a huge success. So far I have 16 potential new customer contacts, a new Representative sign up, and a couple more that may be interested in becoming Representatives. I'm gonna spend the rest of the week on the phone! I am positive that part of my success was because I took my Money Drawing charm bags with me, and dabbed myself in some of my handmade oil before I left the house! A little magic and some good sales and recruiting tactics made for a great day on the job!
However I am feeling the effects of the retrograde that just started a couple of days ago, already I am seeing communication breakdowns, with friends, customers, and the last three jobs I have applied to haven't yielded positive results either, so it's sit and wait it out until May 22nd when the retrograde ends. I have had to reschedule my two known Representative meetings until this coming Tuesday, that does not do my business any good! Recently I guess I broke things off with a guy I was somewhat trying to establish some kind of relationship with. He ended things with a cruel and painful " We aren't friends and we never were. It's best we go back to not speaking, delete my number and I'll do the same" Instead of being a bigger man and accepting that I wasn't attracted to him that way, he got really angry and lashed out at me instead, which got him his head bit off and spat back at him in return. What started this whole downward spiral with him? Well we aren't physically compatible, and instead of him acknowledging or even trying to accept that fact, and being a bigger man about it, he just kept pushing, and honestly acting like a total ass because I turned him down. If I don't feel any spark of anything with you, well pushing me into it isn't going to get you anywhere either except to really make me mad depending on how shitty it is you keep acting. Something about what he said to me sparked a huge surge of doubt and insecurity within myself, about how many real friends do I really have, and how many people do I really have in my life that actually and honestly care about me as much as they say they do?
I keep having dreams of people from the past, and about a couple of ones in particular, trying to decipher the real meanings behind the why of that, and what it all means has my mind and insides upside down too. I am personally hoping the rest of the retrograde isn't like this because I am personally in for a hard ride if it continues to be so. Right now I really do feel like the world and everything in it is having a great time trying to kick me where it hurts the most.
Earlier I chewed a bit of white sage and mugwort, while asking Higher Powers for cleansing and clarity from the inside out. It gives a pleasant and relaxed sensation, and I at least feel lighter inside. It is good to try an clear emotional heaviness from yourself so you can think and feel things like you should instead of what everyone else wants you to think and feel.Us Empaths have to be very careful about picking up and carrying other's emotional baggage, and having others projecting their own crap on us so they don't have to deal with it themselves. As we all know, Beltane is tomorrow, and everyone that I know is celebrating the long awaited holiday. I am not sure yet if I want to celebrate, maybe tomorrow I will feel better inside and I will endeavor to get back to my usual witchy self. for now my lovelies I am going to call it a night, and go write in my journals about the things I have seen and dealt with this week. Writing is both my passion and my form of therapy, I can process and let out emotions, thoughts and feelings on paper that I could never say out loud or express to others. Everyon have a Blessed Bealtane, and I will return witht he New Moon, coming May 6th....
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