Hello everyone and Bright Blessings. I hope everyone is doing well, and this Mercury retrograde is not adversely affecting your lives too much? The New Moon is tomorrow night, and I personally hope it brings some much needed changes for all of us. I have to say that the retrogrades of what is now 5 planets are strongly affecting my life in some pretty heavy ways both emotionally and otherwise. This Mercury retrograde has been intense and rattling for me in ways that make me feel very emotionally and spiritually frazzled. I have found myself looking back at past things regarding the relationships of others that were once in my life, and wondering if those things do or do not somehow apply to the here and now, as it very much seems as if certain people and situations that are currently in my life, resonate and mirror the past in ways that have come across as painfully uncomfortable and yet very intriguing to me. It is like watching some kind of warped replay of history repeat itself, except with different people and it's a different lifetime. This has it's purpose, as you are looking back at certain things, and asking yourself "Do I want to go through this again, or be in a situation like that, or do the same things as they once did?" and " Is this really why things are happening like they are now, and what do I need to understand and learn exactly, so I and others do not repeat the same scenario and pattern?" Then you have to make a choice, to either change the situation in a permanent way so that you and others do no repeat that warped history, or you just walk away entirely and go on with yourself and just leave it all behind, and close that book forever. The question being is which is the right choice? Do you walk away before it's too late or do you step up and try to to alter or change what appears to be a predestined or predetermined future? How would the changes you make ultimately affect the future between you and another person? Have I made some choices that were really right and for the betterment of myself and others?
Right now those questions do not have very clear answers at the moment, and that is what I have been trying to find out. I have made some recent choices and actions, and I was made to believe then that those actions and decisions would eventually be good for myself and for another person, and now I am looking back, and seriously questioning myself about what if I was wrong, and why suddenly do I feel remorse and guilt over it now? Logical reason says that I know that I did make what was a right or better choice, however what my heart says speaks of remorse, regret,and guilt, and just maybe I did not make the right choice or decision, and now I am struggling with the concept of what must I now do to either rectify or change it, or can I even change it at all? The only reason you are really supposed to go back to the past, is to learn something, and to reflect on what you must do in the here and now, to avoid mistakes and disasters that you saw from others in their past lives, and do not allow those situations to impact what you do in the future. but what if the past will never be just the past, and you will never fully get to just let it go or leave it behind and what if a person or a situation from the past is also meant to be part of your life forever, and no matter what choices you decide to make, that this is what it will be and how it was meant to happen regardless?
I know you are asking what spurred this wave of thought from me. Well some time ago, a person from the immediate past once said in regards to my friendship with another..." It doesn't matter what kind of good she does or what kind of good person she is, it will always lead her and you to a bad end." I wonder if perhaps this person was talking more about themselves and their own lives, rather than anything to really do between myself and another person. It is easier to project oneself on others so we don't have to look at our own problems and mistakes, and there are people that choose to be deliberately blind, ignorant and in total denial about people and situations and they refuse to really see things for what it really is and instead they want to go around and ruin other's happiness when what they should be doing is looking in the mirror and seeing the truths about their own problems and fixing things on their end.
Did I walk away from someone because I wanted to? No I didn't, I wasn't exactly given a say or a choice or any way around it. every part of my heart and soul was begging me and screeching at me that walking away was ten kinds of wrong, and it was not something I needed to do or that I should be doing, and it was really going to hurt me and them too, and possibly cause non repairable damage. At the time it really did seem to be that people, situations, and circumstances all around us were seriously conspiring and doing everything in their power to just drive me and the other person apart, and keeping us miserable and unhappy, by any means possible, and the situation was not ever going to be any different until I finally gave in and just left for good. It seemed that it was more about others' selfish and self centered immature, childish and ill intentions, their personal needs and wants and malicious and destructive agendas than it was about what was really best for me and someone else.
Whether that is really the truth or not, I may never know for sure, but I do know this much, it is not within any human's power to force two consenting adult people that have any form of love for each other to separate, or to be apart, or to cause constant stress, drama, and heartache between them until they split apart. You are not a form of God or Goddess or Higher Power and it was never your right or privilege to destroy or undermine something that had every right and reason to exist, and did it ever occur to you at all that myself and the other person were actually meant to be in each other's lives? The why and how and the reasons of that is not for you to understand or to know the reason for and it does not have to make logical or clear sense, and it surely was never your right or place to judge, or have any say over. Whatsoever it is that God and Goddess wills to be, shall be done, and there will be nothing that you as a human will ever be able to say or do will change that. What is meant to be, shall be, and what is meant to be done, will be done. that is the Will of God, Goddess and Higher Powers. Two people that are meant to be on the same path together, will always find some way to be on that path, regardless of what you or anyone else has to say, what you attempt to do, or how you choose to try and destroy that, it will be the same result in the end, and things will ultimately be as they are meant to be, and nothing you as a human will ever do or say will change that. The only thing you are going to do by trying to go against Divine Will is to hurt yourself worse in the end. So when your life and everything in it falls apart, and you are constantly hurting and miserable and having a hundred things going wrong at once and nothing goes right for you, remember that you brought that Karma and Retribution on yourself because you went and tried to have power, control, and dominance, and place and a will and say over something you never should have stuck your nose in to begin with. As God And Goddess Wills It, So Mote It Be!
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