Hello everyone and Bright Blessings. Today is the Full Moon, and I started today by watching my daughter Jasmin leave and go back home to Maine, at 7:30 am this morning. Definitely not the most fantastic and joyous way to start the day and I have to say my mood is heart rending miserable right now. Full Moons are for "releasing" and "letting go" of things, people, situations, and emotions that you need to allow to leave your life in order to make room for other things to manifest and come into your life. My daughter will return next June..as she spends her summer break with me, and spends the rest of her year with her Father in Maine.
Despite a lot of very negative past issues and a bitter and devastating divorce, He and I managed to still maintain and cultivate a strong friendship and we get along to a extent, at least from a distance. I honestly cannot say that I know of too many other divorced couples that have managed to achieve that. We tried reconciliation at one point, let me say that did not go well for either of us. Too many things had been damaged and destroyed between us on too many vital levels for the love to be rekindled in the way it once was..and it took us both a very long 5 years of time to finally get to the point where we are right now, where we can talk about things,and where we can spend brief amounts of time together and it be comfortable and amicable. I am not in love with him anymore as I was 10 years ago, and if I had it to do over again I can confidently say that I would not. It would not be a smart move for either of us to try and go through all of that again. He has recently remarried.. and although I personally feel like that might have not been a wise or well thought out decision on his part or even for the new wife.. that is not my decision and is out of my control. I have to keep most of my thoughts and opinions about that situation to myself, even if I feel I may be right.
I have also moved on..I have let other people be in my life, and I have also allowed myself to give my heart to another, or rather, Goddess and God literally brought that blessing into my life at a very crucial moment.. during a day very similar to today.. and even thought that situation currently is also not going as I wish it would.. there is a reason for that too even if I do not know all the answers as to why yet.
I was supposed to have done my Money Spell last night but I didn't get to, I was too busy making sure Jasmin was ready to go home and my family and personal obligations take precedence over anything else. So tonight I will improvise and do a similar spell and make sure all of my bags, crystals, and tools are left out to charge in the moonlight. I will also write a small petition to ask for a release of the things and emotions that make me feel unhappy and sorrowful, and ask for something positive and meaningful to come around to help me cope with my sense of incompleteness and how it is that my life does not feel whole or fulfilling without my Flower physically being here in mine and her brother's lives. Me sitting here driving myself into a fit of depressed misery will not change anything and will not serve me any real purpose. Time is ticking by quickly today, so best for me to get off my behind and get to work, so I will see you all later, and I will update again soon. Have a Blessed Day!
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