Remember the old phrase, "I'll believe it when I see it?" well sometimes I am guilty of having less that stout belief, conviction, and faith in certain things, I'm pretty realistic about a lot, and sometimes a bit of a skeptic, even though I am a strong spiritual person and I have strong beliefs.. We are all guilty of having doubts, suspicions, and even the occasional lack of faith in something happening, or that a situation may not manifest like we wish and hope for it to, especially when we are not being given clear answers and seeing solid signs of what we asked for is going to happen or not. I just have days where I have the thought. "Well when I actually see that it happens I will believe it." and then something will happen to whack you in the head and make you pay attention. I had one of those moments recently, where I saw something spectacular that renewed my faith and hope in something that I have been having a bit of doubts and insecurity about whether or not it will happen. As Jeff Foxworthy and Bill Engvall like to say "Here's your sign!"
A few days ago..me and my daughter walked down the street going to the pharmacy that is a 15 minute walk from my house. Where I live there is a long street of shops and convenience stores that are a few minutes walk down the street. On the way, we went past this shop that had been empty recently but now said "Botanica" and they were open for business, there was a middle aged lady sitting outside and the door was propped open, and I took a glance inside and saw what appeared to be a very cluttered shop that was not yet set up, and I told my daughter that we would visit soon when they had everything more set up and situated. What I did not mention to her was that I had a strong urge and I felt very drawn to go in the store and look around and there was something in there I needed to see or that I was going to find. I "had to" go into that shop.. and I said I will find out why soon enough.
A lot of Latino and South and Central American people that live in my town practice Santeria and various minority faiths, Saint Holy Death and various other saint figures are much venerated in their faith and practice. They have this wonderful blending of Catholic beliefs melded and mixed together with other types of practice and worship that has a fabulously strong vibe to it. "Brujera", or witches, both male and female, in their culture are much respected and also very feared. The shop owners keep their shops secluded and out of the way as there is a strong influence of the LDS and Baptist faiths here also. Best to keep yourself and your items to yourself so as to not draw undue attention.
Now, everyone that reads my blogs, also has noticed that a particular spirit by name of St. Holy Death, seems to have some unusual interest in me and occasionally steps into my life to offer Her guidance and she sometimes does a favor for me when I ask. Despite the fact I am not a full fledged initiate of Santeria or the various offshoot branches of said practice, I do practice Hoodoo and eclectic Paganism, I found something strong in Her Holiness of Death that resonates with me in a way I still cannot fathom or fully explain, so I work with Her and She "likes" me enough to where it usually happens that when I ask a favor She will answer me most of the time. I consider that a very rare privilege! Not everyone can say with a certain confidence that Death is really and truly their "friend" in that sort of way!
For awhile now I have been struggling with a personal issue, how many days, weeks, months, or even years will I have to wait? When and how will I see this situation change or develop into a more positive and rewarding scenario? And if by chance it isn't meant to be.. then why not?
Well the other day my daughter and I went into this shop that I was drawn to and one walk through the little shelves and tiny cramped store and I am in love with everything they have in there. It is stocked floor to ceiling with every kind of 7 day candles, spell ingredients, anointing oils, and odds and ends that I could ever ask to find in one tiny shop. the poor shop owner needs a bigger store or to invest in a storage space! What caught my eyes and made me take in a huge breath of transfixed awe, was the massive and elaborate altar table made especially for Saint Holy Death. Decked out, fully dressed, and fabulously well maintained! It has to be the biggest dedication altar I have yet to see, a whole table set up with two huge 2 foot tall statues of Her, a vast array of candles, offerings, and incenses displayed all around Her and adorning Her. Their table makes my tiny dresser top space look insignificant and "cheap".
Now I knew why I felt so compelled to go into that shop, that was what I needed to see, my sign, She was speaking to me, telling me to com and see Her. I am sure the shopkeeper was quite unsure what to think of me, I , by no means, was someone he would expect to see come into his shop, and he tried his hardest to be polite although he came off as a bit standoffish and slightly rude. I felt like he deliberately refused my credit and said cash only, and made a hurried gesture in checking out my purchases and was hoping I would just leave, although I feel that will soon change when he sees I will be a regular customer as I said I would soon become. Something about me set him on edge and made him uncomfortable and wary and I will soon find out what and why the next time I go visit. Saint Death will surely call to me again and bid me to come back and see Her soon enough!
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