Suspicious Developments for this New Moon.

Yesterday I got a call from a ex- coworker from my previous job. He is telling me there is this friend of his that has a small baby , that needs a emergency place to bunk until he can move her in with him in a couple of weeks. So starting later today, I shall be babysitting the baby while mom is at work during the day, I have a strong hunch that there is more to this story than I am being told about but I will find out more details later today.. something does not sit right with me about why exactly she is suddenly running away from a ex boyfriend and having to move on a spur of a minute decision. I know my coworker too well, he has this annoying habit for rescuing supposed damsels in distress and then finding himself in a not so appealing situation because of them, and he has this habit for having not so innocent intentions with these females at times. His manners and intentions towards females are occasionally not very gentlemanly or polite and to him any "opportunity" is fair game. I also have the suspicion that he is hoping someone will take on his little problem until he figures out how to fix it himself. I will be nice and allow her to stay with me, and I will gladly take on the small baby, its not the child's fault its mother is in a mess. I am being paid a fee to watch the baby and for allowing her room and board, and I shall be a accommodating hostess, however, I do not believe in freeloaders no matter their situation or circumstances, the woman is a adult so therefore it is not like she cannot be responsible for herself. Like I said.. there's more to this little story than I am being told and the situation is not all that it appears to be. I do very much hope for their sakes that the just released from jail, potentially dangerous, ex boyfriend does not find out where she is and what she is doing until she is at least gone from my house, I have no patience for crazy exes and bad relationship situations and if he by chance shows up at my home acting up and misbehaving himself, I can just as well have him escorted back to jail. My receptive antennae are going to be wired on high alert the whole time she is going to be here and I'm going to be watching for any sign or sense of a possible problem. Perhaps I may be being too sensitive and seeing more than is there but I feel like I am not wrong in my general perceptions of the developing situation.

  The New Moon is coming November 3rd, it is also a Total Solar Eclipse in the astrological sign of Scorpio. This is a great time to manifest new beginnings in one's life and plant seeds of changes that we want to see come to fruition for the next six months time, for them to mature and grow into desired results. I am going to begin campaigning the sales of my book again, and try to finish the other book that will be it's companion. The work on that has been slow, as I have been scrambling to get the funds to pay my outstanding household bills, so finding the time to write a page or ten has not been the top of my to- do list lately. I'm getting a bit bummed out over the fact that customers are visiting my sales pages for my Amazon sites and looking at the offerings, but there is still no sales. Christmas holiday shopping is coming so I am hoping for a rise in royalties and sales soon. I am going to do a petition for financial help for myself for this New Moon and use the proof copy of my book as a focal point and centerpiece for the working. I am literally down to $0.00 in my bank account and my credit account and this is the first ever time I have ever been completely broke.


  Onto the ongoing matter of the situation between myself, my neighbor, and my best friend..I discovered the reasons why he is being unjustly charged, and it verily pisses me off. I know for a absolute fact this is a hatched up plot of theirs to ruin his life for the worst and if he cannot get ahold of a decent and reasonably priced lawyer very soon it just may well ruin his life. That will be another matter I shall be sending a petition out for as it is going to be very hard for him to afford the sort of fees to get himself a reliable and trustworthy defense against his accusers' claims. I also heard some very nasty revelations about the situation that makes me look at my neighbor in a disgusted shame.  The person in the neighbor's house that originally started all of this has developed a odd and suddenly curious interest in trying to talk to me or have my attention of which I want no part of at all because quite honestly it gives me the strong vibe that I need to back away and go the opposite direction as fast as possible, and avoid all contact like its the worst of plagues, there is just a highly aware and creepy sensation that I am talking to a very dangerous person that is asking some strange questions and bringing up nosy subjects out of the thin air.  It is very possible I will be asked or called on to vouch for and help defend my best friend of which I have no problem with doing so. Things between me and him have become so strained and complicated that now we cannot really even see each other anywhere without someone possibly watching or paying attention. If he so much as steps a toe that is perceivably out of line for any reason he could be sent away until his court hearing. Needless to say, his nerves are basically shot to hell and he is going through extreme stress and strong mood swings.  So in order to protect him I have to stay away and act like  we have parted ways and we have no contact or association. I do not know how this is going to affect our friendship or what will end up happening later, how to have any type of relationship under so much difficulty? I am having a hard time having to accept things as they are in the current moment, we went from being very close and things were going very well, but since the last couple of months things have slowly but surely went down the drain to the point to where all we basically have now is verbal contact. Most people I know would have done  called everything quits and moved on and went on with their lives. However me and him are not everyone else. We have something special and enduring and strong that thus far not even the hardest of hits has managed to break it, and Goddess willing, it will stay that way. I am going to have to go. A new day has dawned and i am still sitting here, I have to get my son up for school, and  finish the chores to be done before my guest gets here. The posts may become short or not updated regularly for the next couple of weeks, as taking care of a 5 month old baby leaves very little time or energy to do much else. To all my readers, Blessed Be!

October 27, 2013

Samhain is coming. This year I am buying my son his Halloween candy and I think I am going to keep him inside with me and have a quiet celebration at home. I don't really feel like wandering the streets in 30 degree weather going door to door. I have a lot of important and crucial ideas on my mind that have been brewing harshly for weeks and I am about to see a final conclusion to it all come this Monday the 28th. The situation with the neighbors become a nasty all out war, resulting in my friend facing charges of utter complete BS that may possibly result in him being sent away for awhile. This makes me very upset on a lot of levels but I am trying hard to keep my temper in check and managing the best I know how. This has been coming for awhile and it has been steadily brewing into this boiling over pot of shit for months now. Yes, one of those charges he may actually be punished for because he actually committed the offense, the other is a load of technicality laced crap that someone has been trying to push into becoming a reality for months. I have seen and heard and dealt with more than enough of this mess and I am royally fed up. Quite honestly if he has to be sent off for a whole month or longer then I personally hope that the other person involved is sent away too and the other initial instigator to the entire mess vanishes like a bad wind.  Something must be done to permanently end the entire situation once and for all, for the betterment of all of our peace of mind and sanity. I am tired of watching my friend suffer and go through more than his share of tribulation and trials. The emotional and physical strain placed on all of us is at the snapping point. I will be miserable and depressed if by chance he is sent off but in a way perhaps this is a crucial part of the changes that need to take place since he is also a minor part of some of the problems, if only by being involved in the situation and unwittingly contributing a small portion of them. I am being forced to accept that some things are not within my control or ability to handle, however I am still going to ask that Higher Powers of the Laws of our world be fair and honest for all involved especially for his sake because if you look at the technical pieces of this puzzle the only thing he is really "guilty " of is trying to do what was right to begin with, trying to help people that needed help, and be a decent  person for someone that needs it very badly, and being dragged in a ever worsening situation that basically backfired in his face. The other party involved in this is really more at fault, for not enforcing or doing the right things as they have been instructed to do many times by other officials and people of higher power, and not taking the vital steps needed to actually correct certain behaviors and attitudes and not getting rid of the original people that were causing the problems to start with.  Later on Monday, or this week, we shall see what happens with that.

   I will not be surprised if by chance I am asked to step in and offer my testimony or opinion into this mess , thus far I have been mostly overlooked as being unimportant and just in between the two problems because I just happen to live smack beside my neighbor and I am friends with the other person being hauled to court. would I possibly incriminate myself in order to defend what I saw was right and fair for others? That depends on the charges laid against me and even then there is no reliable proof  I was or am involved aside from hearsay. I know plenty about the situation on both sides of it but there's also things I don't know because I chose to not be directly involved or be a part of anything I knew would get me cast blame or guilt on, and even then it would have still been pinned on the original guilty party for involving others into their dramas and trying to cause others misery and suffering and pointing fingers of blame or guilt on others in order to take the heat off of themselves. The cops, courts, and other legal officials know this so they have eliminated all others from the equation and are focusing on the people that are directly and actively involved.  If I do not have to be involved or brought into this mess then I see no reason to step in and make it my issue unless I see or hear something that is grossly wrong or unfair or if I am asked by a higher official to be giving my side of the story. for now my readers, I have to go, I need some sleep and to recharge before I gird my emotional fortitude to face what I know is coming...

October 14, 2013

There is something brewing that will come to either a catastrophic end or a miraculous change soon. My friendship with my friend that we are already barely holding onto has possibly finally come to a end? A huge and harsh barrier has been forcibly erected between us that should never be there at all. There are people in the immediate circle of his life that would see me out of the picture permanently and have come up with the most outrageous and cruel reasoning yet.. religious difference. Oh yes, the age old Christian vs. Pagan war/debate that has waged for millennia is apparently still alive and well in some places and communities. I forgot I live smack in the middle of a Christian Baptist community. I have absolutely nothing against anything or anyone that follows the Christian faith, they can believe and worship as they see fit if that pleases them. In fact, I know several people that were originally Pagan or Christian that have converted to one path or the other. I myself was raised a Baptist, and decided that religion and lifestyle was not for me and I could not completely follow or believe in their religion so I decided to no longer follow or practice it. However I see no reason why I should have to tolerate or agree with the idea that two people cannot have a bond or relationship of any kind just for the simple fact that one is a opposite religious background than the other. I have felt like for awhile that a lot of people have not wanted me in his life, or perhaps he himself no longer wants me in his life?? And no one has yet found a viable or plausible excuse or reason as to why not exactly until very recently. What brought this current issue into being? Ok..so awhile back, when I first published my book to Amazon, I had ordered a proof copy for myself to review before I actually had the printed version placed for sale. That copy I gave to my friend and he has had it all this time all the way up until last Thursday. Someone was reading a few pages and saw the words "magickal application" and a few brief references as to what the future books were going to be about. And this sparked a raging inferno of anti witchcraft arguments which resulted in him being forced into telling me that I was no longer welcome or wanted on their property or inside their residence or anywhere near them at all. Apparently it does not matter what kind of person I am inside or what good deeds I have done or what sort of  life I live, my religious views and practice will ultimately lead me to bad ends in due time and I will eventually go to "hell" or whatever place it is that we bad apples go to when we die from living a life of sin and wickedness. A lot of ugly and savage words were supposedly said towards and about me that I was not told about, because he felt it was wrong and he was not going to tell me what was said, in order to protect my feelings and my image because no one had any right or reason to ever say it to begin with. I was left stunned and confused and wondering just exactly what was going on because all he could manage to get out was something about he had no idea the feelings ran that deep and the convictions would be that severe. Never, not once, has he told me that he loved me less for who and what I was and was not and he was never going to judge me, or put me down, or hold this over my head, yet he is being forced to do it anyways because of others' views and intolerances?  I have not yet heard exactly what he is thinking and feeling about all of this yet, he has not actually explained it fully to me, and I have not seen or talked to him since that day, if I were to make a smart assumption, and considering how upset and shocked he was that day, I am going to say for now, until I know otherwise, that he is silently disagreeing with all of this and trying to figure a way to either turn it around, or a way to continue being part of my life that does not disrupt his inner circle and their lives and cause him issues and troubles.

Or..it could be that this is a huge blown out of proportion strongly embellished lie and fabricated load of shit that was devised to get me out of his life for good, and in a way so that no one has to feel guilty or ashamed over it. Are they all really so foolish to think that will make it less harmful or painful for them? I care not what religion you believe or what culture you are from. If you do or think, or feel, or believe bad things and have less than moral behavior towards others then it will come back around and bite you hard on your arse and you will eventually feel guilt, shame, and remorse over it and things will happen to you that will justify and correct your actions and words in a manner that will befit what was originally said or done. Would he be part of my life all this time and just now begin show this is what he truly feels and believes? I seriously hope for his sake that is not the truth.

Results from New Moon.

The actual New Moon is over, and now we are waiting out the final few days until the first sliver of light is seen to start a new cycle. As for me, it came to pass as I had said it would. The emotional upheavals and situations around me and with the people involved intensified over the weekend. Yesterday, my child and the neighbor's child were involved into a nasty brawl, of which both kids received bite marks, bruises and scratches and foul mouthed, angry tempers resulting in the child's mother calling the police to have it sorted out. She was trying really hard to make it look as if I and my child were entirely at fault and to blame. I was allowed to go inside my home and not take part in that outrageous scene as I was being unfairly accused of "never doing shit about anything towards my son", but it was her child that started the whole thing to begin with by bullying and picking on my child.  The police already saw and heard more than enough from her to understand this was a situation that was she was trying to blow way out of proportion.  Do not ever scream at someone else saying you want to see marks on the other person's child that are just like yours and that they never do anything about what their child does or says that is just way out of line. Furthermore, another neighbor witnessed the fight and broke it up and also spoke to the police and clarified the situation a bit more, this was why I was allowed to go back inside and I never even had to speak to the police anymore after that because they did not feel the need to see or talk to me since it was her that called them to start with and they explained to her that she needed to separate her kids from everyone else's and if anything else happened she could file a report and go to court over it. Which will not happen considering she has more than enough other issues to deal with that will land her in worse dire straits if she decides to push her desire to cause mayhem and problems for everyone else but not deal properly with her own in the ways that she already should have done. I never did say that my child was not at fault because yes he did retaliate in mostly self defense and yes he did leave marks on her child, but when you have someone biting hard enough to leave bruises, and hitting you with a stick and screaming at you and trying to hold your hair and beat your head on the ground, well,, I don't see him standing there and just taking that treatment with a smile and a cheerful sunny disposition, or walking away as if he felt or experienced nothing! yes, my child has a breaking point to his temper and yes he does get loud and occasionally physical with it. But he is not a saint and I would like to know whose child is? We adults would probably take on a similar response if someone else treated us that way   It does not matter if the children are opposite genders or whatever the reason is, bullying and fighting is the same regardless and there is going to be one or the other trying to defend oneself from their attacker and sometimes it gets a bit rough.

On the upside..after a long week of silence, my friend and I are back to speaking and tentatively trying to get along better, this was something I had hoped to see happen, as it was beginning to make me sad and depressed that we were having to put a distance between each other.  Ironically it was the upheavals and fighting amongst we people down here that got us back to talking because I ended up going over to the same neighbors house this past Saturday to retrieve a item that belonged to him and bring it back to him, and not being able to retrieve them was not going to be a option, I firmly and stubbornly asked them to find and give it back and took it to him regardless of how they felt about it, the item was being used as a leverage tool to keep him in contact with them and as a reason to try and lure him down here to get it himself which was not going to happen. So I was asked to go on a retrieval and recovery operation that was finally successful. They had no right to keep something that belonged to him as a binding chain to keep him in their lives when he has been trying very hard to disengage himself from them and their lives and go on with his own. This is another bone of contention and strife between me and my neighbors, he is no longer part of their lives and is not their friend or anything else., but I am still in his life, this causes jealousy, anger, strife, arguments, and general discord between me and them because they cannot stand the fact that I am still holding onto my position in his life and I have no intention of allowing them to sever that bond no matter what they want to throw at me or him. Why do people want to keep trying undermine and destroy something that is already struggling to stay intact? Its the whole, "If I cant have it then no one else will either " mindset. Certain people have been trying very hard to break apart what should be a wonderful friendship and a strong bond because they cannot get over themselves and accept that it is their own doing he is not part of their lives anymore. The obsessive, controlling, dominative, manipulating, lying, using, chain yanking behavior from the other people involved has got to the point where its potentially dangerous and it has to end permanently.

As I am now typing, today is Tuesday and it is 2:41 am. yesterday afternoon, I got more upheaval and conflict brought to my door yet again by the neighbor's oldest daughter, earlier that day I had gone through a drawer of my clothes, of which some were given to me by them as they did not fit them anymore and I am the smaller size, so, well I decided since I was not wearing the given away clothes and I did not need them I was just going to bag them up and haul them away. As most people would do with unwanted belongings.. Later that night, I hear a banging on my door and I find a fuming and angry tween child on my door caustically demanding I give back her clothes and she wanted them right now and I was going to find them immediately and give them to her this minute! She had the nerve to plant her foot against my door while I was telling her to leave and stare me down and shout at me over this of which I told her where "her" things were and if she wanted them to go get them and leave me alone and get off my door. I all but had to push her away from my door and literally shut it in her face while she was still shouting at me because she had no intention of leaving.  Why and how she believed she had any right or business even going through my trash bin to see what was in there I don't know because she would have never known the clothes were in there had she not been prowling in it to start with, or someone went and told her what I had done, because she was not outside when I took the bag out and wheeled the bin to the sidewalk. Coming to tell me off about what was in my trash and was no longer actually her property and demanding I give it back?? Yup.. just a excuse to come and start more drama and problems and chaos. Getting in my face and invading my space and shouting at me  and trying to force yourself into my doorstep isn't going to get anyone anything but a slammed door in their face and told to leave and ignored like they don't exist until they get over their little hissy fit and learn how to act better.  alas, things will become worse before they get better. Time will reveal all in due time. I am just going to sit back and allow The Goddess to do her work and see what unfolds in its own accord.

Seal Up Your Problems Jar Spell

I came up with a new spell jar recently,  the night before last, I was thinking about my problems and the things I have been dealing with and experiencing, and the idea popped into my head to try and seal it up  and contain it indefinitely and hopefully get rid of it.  With any luck, I will see a change soon.. this is the first time I have worked this particular spell and it is my own creation so let's see what happens!! 
I will be burying my jar in the ground where it cannot be found or destroyed, but at the moment I have it tucked away in a drawer where it isn't being noticed or discovered until I can go out with it.

Tools and supplies:
1 standard sized black candle.
1, 8oz round, wide mouthed, flat bottomed, glass jar with a sealable lid.
1 black piece of art paper, the kind used to make those black and neon colored pictures.
This paper is to be written with your desire , objective, and spell, don't worry, your chosen ink will show up if you hold it to the light the right way so you can see the lettering while you write. Do not use neon or bright colored ink! Black Red, and Purple, provides a sheen enough so it can be seen on the black paper.

Other ingredients:
1 clump of Spanish Moss to bind and wrap around the paper.
1 pinch of Graveyard Dirt
1 Coffin Nail
1 pinch of Sulfur Powder
1 pinch of Black Salt
1 pinch each of Licorice Root and Calamus  Root
1 pinch of Banishing, Black Destroyer, Lost and Away , or similar type of powder formulated to get rid of your problem or issue, it depends on the  situation, or whatever and possibly whomever it is that you want to get rid of or see be gone from you life.
9 drops each of Commanding Oil, Black Destroyer Oil, Voodoo Oil,
Feel free to use any type of strong banishing or Destroying types of anointing oils that also resonate with your intention.
And finally, a scant teaspoon of Mars Water, also called,War Water, this is iron nails steeped in spring water until it becomes a bright rusty orange color and is used as a protective, banishing, and sometimes malevolent hexing water. In this case we are using it as a protective and banishing agent.   

Take your jar, sit it inside a metal heat proof container, like a metal pie pan or your cauldron if its wide enough,  After you have written out your paper with your intention, wrap the Spanish Moss around it to bind the negativity and trap the situation to be gotten rid of, place the paper and moss inside the jar. cover the paper and moss with the above powders and ingredients, or those of your choice, and anoint with the above oils or those that correspond with your intention. Stick the Coffin Nail through the moss and point the end towards the bottom of the jar. it does not matter if you stab it through the paper, just have it sticking somewhat firmly into the moss and pointing downwards. Pour the teaspoon of Mars Water lastly. Take your black candle and stick it firmly to the top of the jar's lid and place the lid tightly onto the jar. Invoke your chosen God, Goddess, or Spirit, and cast your circle, call Quarters, whatever your Banishing ritual may be.. and ask that your spell jar be activated and what is contained within be sealed away from you and your life and it is to be Banished, Destroyed, Reversed, or Ended however way you ask. anoint, powder and light the black candle and visualize, that as it burns, it is sealing away your problems, negativity and worries. The heat from the burned down candle will seal the jar and after it is snuffed out and your ritual is completed to your satisfaction, the entire jar and its contents must be put in a dark place and not disturbed, or, if you can manage it, buried in the ground at the cemetery, or crossroads, or dropped into a deep pool of naturally occurring water if by chance you have one nearby. So long as the glass is not broken or unsealed, the spell should remain intact. I hesitate to say drop it into the natural water or bury it in the ground, as the lid will rust and decay over time, but I do not suppose that after that amount of time has passed, your problems will surely have been long gone and no longer a worry?

I will post a update to this when or if I see a result that tells me it has worked or not. Until then, Happy Reading and Blessed Be!